I don’t take Tinder too seriously and use it mostly when bored, but since I’m interested in social media in all forms I wanted to write about Tinder as well. First, Tinder is mostly based on looks, you like it or not. However, with a good story, you might be able to compensate your looks. And you don’t need to be a model or anything, just a good picture that shows your face and preferably a bit more is good enough. I’ve ran into countless of people on Tinder who do the same mistakes with their pictures. I’ve had monologues about these on Snapchat, but I wanted to make a complete list here.
When living in Helsinki I instantly swiped left if the first picture didn’t please me or the person hadn’t written anything about him/herself. There would always be a better one out there. Here in Umeå Tinder is empty most of the time, so I might look deeper into their profiles, even if the first picture isn’t appealing. In bigger cities, however there’s more to choose from, so the first impression is essential. I wrote down the things I hate the most on men’s Tinder profiles, and behavior, enjoy!
1. Pictures with friends It’s usually difficult to guess which one you are. Avoid these kinds of pictures as your profile picture. It’s okay have pictures with friends in my opinion, as long as it’s not the first thing I see.
2. No picture No picture at all or pictures of cute animals are not attractive on Tinder, I want to see the person behind the profile.
3. Hunting pictures I don’t remember running into these in Helsinki, but here in Umeå it seems to be pretty common to pose with a gun next to a dead animal. Also pictures with a guy holding a dead fish are popular. I have nothing against hunting or fishing, but it’s not exactly Tinder material.
4. Gym poses Especially when taken of mirrors. Though I could imagine that it might appeal to girls who spend a lot of time at gym, I never find these attractive. Your muscles won’t compensate your personality. Also shirtless pictures are not for everyone. If you have a few extra kilos, it’s okay, but better to keep them hidden.
5. Drinking pictures Depends a bit of the context, but pictures taken at nightclubs with lots of alcohol are not cool, it’s telling others that you like to party or are an alcoholic. If I were looking for drinking partners on Tinder I’d may consider swiping right.
6. Bathroom selfies There are better places for taking pictures.
7. Sunglasses in every picture Trying to hide something?
8. Pictures of children It’s okay to have kids, but I’m looking for grown ups and I’am not interested in how my future step children might look like.
9. Two-hour rule Another one I didn’t notice until moving to Umeå. If someone starts a conversation with me and I won’t respond within two hours, the match will be gone. If I have something better to do and don’t respond right away, it’s often too late. A two-hour wait doesn’t necessarily mean a rejection. Although it feels like the pressure to find a partner is higher here than for instance in Helsinki, I still don’t think you’re in such a hurry.
10. No story Write something about yourself! In many cases a good story compensates not so good pictures. It’s okay to write how tall you are, but at least for me that’s not enough… Also, don’t try to be funny if you’re not.
It feels that the Finns in Helsinki weren’t too serious about Tinder, for instance, it was okay to write a few messages to someone and then leave it there if things didn’t work out, without deleting the match. I also had matches with my classmates, co-workers and even my cousin… Here in Sweden I almost never get a match with the people I know, although I always swipe right on them. The Swedes who delete their matches might, however, give you a second or third chance. Yesterday I had my third match with a Swede who had deleted our match twice before… So we’ll see how or when it ends this time.